Tonight’s entry is going to be a short one. Spent the afternoon at the barn and am wiped but... I have good news! I got my first question here on the blog. True, the questions aren’t so much pouring in as trickling, but it’s a start. And I’ll take it.
So here is the question that I got last night and was featured in today’s issue of Watkins Weekly. Take a look and remember to be kind. I’m new at this advice thing!
What is the appropriate first date behavior--knock on the front door or wait outside and honk?
-Confused Dude at the Curb
Dear Confused,
Simple. You HAVE to knock and go inside. If you don’t, the girl doesn’t get her staircase moment. And EVERY girl wants a staircase moment.
There it is! My first question from the interwebz! (Although I have a feeling I know who sent that gem! Was that you Will Parker?) What do you think?
And just because I feel like there should be more than one Q&A, here is another one that was featured in the paper:
Dear Clueless,
Is it true that peanut butter can cure hickeys? My older sister told me that it was a surefire plan...
-All Marked Up
Dear All Marked Up,
I’ve had about as many hickeys as I’ve had shark encounters, scuffles with seriel killers, Olympic gold medal performances, and vampire run-ins. Which is to say, none at all. Although I am a big fan of scarves, so I imagine that if I did find myself with a purple neck, I would go that route instead of reaching for the peanut butter.
However, if you set on the nuttier method (pun intended), I would advise doing a “test patch” like they tell you to do when you use hair dye or home-waxing kits. I’d suggest not just globbing and going. You might get a bigger bite taken out if you stumble upon a particularly hungry soccer player. Or worse, your hickey giver could come back and who knows? He or she might have a peanut allergy and explaining that one to an emergency room doctor is something I CAN’T help with. No one, except maybe one of those vampires I haven’t met, wants to risk being involved in a fatal neck-sucking session. And I’m guessing you are not a vampire. Or are you?
After careful consideration, I’ve decided on my final answer. Wear a scarf. Or a turtleneck. Or both. You will be fashionable and discreet.
That’s all I got in me tonight. Here’s to being Clueless!